Catastrophe in the Studio! By Dominic Lee

Tuesday, Sep 11th, 2007 in The IPWS Blog by Dominic Lee | 7 Comments

Give me a dog to photograph any day, when you whistle they look at you and perk up their ears, perfect portrait every time.

      Cats on the other hand are so dumb; no matter what you say or do they either ignore you or jump out of the frame leaving a trail of blood & tears on the poor child holding it.

      A stupid moggy in a recent portrait session even managed to knock a framed photograph off the wall and break the glass.

      For some bizarre reason this dumb animal was considered a family member.

Mind you cats could well be smarter than some of their owners who actually believe that the reason they find things to knock over and break is because they need another toy from the pet shop or the reason they refuse to eat scraps from the dinner plate is because their moggy has seen the Whiskers ad on TV and knows what’s good for it.

Fact: – If a cat is hungry it will eat its own vomit in order to survive.

How did your cats Great Grandparents manage to survive when their owners were struggling to buy food for themselves and tinned cat food was simply a twinkle in some entrepreneur’s eye?

      In the recently discovered, but as yet unpublished, Pussy Scrolls from the Catacombs of Catmandu, it clearly shows that the stupidity of cats was recognised by our ancestors, hence the use of the word Catastrofic to describe terrible events.

      I know there will follow many comments from cat lovers explaining how their cat does such & such which a dog can’t do but the fact remains that cats are just a smidgen above chickens on “The Most Stupid Creatures on Earth” chart.

      Cat lovers confuse instinct with intelligence; and the proof is to be seen in generations of formal family portraits with a dog but never with a cat. 

7 Comments:

  1. M. McKay
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 1:56 pm | Permalink

    Pretty much agree with what you have said, two things:
    1. I am first and foremost a commercial photographer i.e. I do it purely for commercial reasons and with very few reservations will photograph anything I am asked to photograph.
    2. Any displays in our studio are framed without glass to prevent any possibilty of being sued for injuries caused by it being broken by stupid cats brought in by our dear customers
    Regards
    Michael

  2. Seb Dooris
    Posted September 17, 2007 at 2:39 pm | Permalink

    Hi Dominic funny story thanks for sharing maybe not the wisest thing to post up so such harsh personal opinions about a client and their family pet on a publicly accessible forum.
    Just imagine the client Jane doe with the cat searches for “Dominic Lee priory studios” and it comes up with this article.

  3. Geoff
    Posted September 18, 2007 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    Maybe they are smarter than the average portrait studio sitter who is just being put through a circus routine.
    Cats have more self respect, why should they act like dog when they are not? Photograph a cat for what it is – a cat.

  4. Stephen Wall Morris
    Posted September 20, 2007 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    I can remember the family portrait session where the family borrowed a dog from a neighbour because they liked the look of it. An Old English Sheepdog to be exact, which when it walked into the house took one look at the green/brown backdrop and promptly relieved itself.
    That was the point that I decided that washable background cloth was the way to go. It was an expensive lesson to learn.

  5. Posted September 21, 2007 at 4:58 am | Permalink

    Hate the things. Dogs rule. Nuff said.
    http://www.yellowbellybooks.com

  6. Evin
    Posted September 23, 2007 at 12:54 am | Permalink

    I see you won 3 bottles of Malt Whiskey for “letter of the week” in the Sunday Indo with this one, well done. I know you hate Malt Whiskey Mr Lee, so I’ll be over later to swap it for a few tins of Whiskers!

  7. Posted December 12, 2007 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

    I’m thinking of getting a cat. If only so that after a bad day, upon walking through the front door, I’ve got something to kick across the room.

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